"this is who i am"

 this is hwo i am

i change due to pressure bc i care about others and how i relate to them

others dont change as much. somehow they are all good enough but im never good enough.

i become what everyone else tells me and face them with their own shadows, but no, they can do no wrong so they project that on me instead. who am i to criticize them? They are the only ones who can criticize

if u are pinned up on a wall and raped, if u give in to ur impulses to rape someone. in both cases they say this is who i am, because they dont know what to do. what u are supposed to do is try to figure out what to do and pray for the most existential answers including if praying really works and trying to look for signs for that. thats how i figured out it works.

who u "are" stagnatse u in that "are/is". realilty has no concrete borders that separate u. thats movement instead of stagnation. u are supposed to change. they are concrete in as much they are fluid