snake is related to discernment and because the snake hides. we need to see snakes or realise they are there to avoid or stomp them.

 snake is related to discernment

snake eyes

and because the snake hides. we need to see snakes or realise they are there to avoid or stomp them.

Leech spirit and discernment of spirits

 I've been attacked by leech spirits

there was a woman begging for money. her eyelashes were like dark arrows and her eyes were wet and glassy, her face was swollen.

i thoughti  should give her $2 first only then ask her why she's out there. i was measuring mroe money in my heart to see if God wanted to give to her and how much. It took me time I still wasn't sure in the end maybe because of my health issues, or because I didn't have enough faith in the past i don't know, to stabilise myself. So i decided to give her small amount nad proceed from there. She said she was supposed to go to work that day but didn't go so she was collecting money for food. We were at the stairs with people passing by and i was uncomfortable for various reasons I couldn't think straight, i also didn't know, should i get up, then think outside before going down, or should I give her there? I couldn't decide but I felt tired. So I grabbed more money to give her. I wouldn't write this to show I gave money, the bible says not to let others know, I am writing it becuase I felt like someone had pinched something out of me. Like a bad feeling. So I figured it must have been a leech. Maybe she was fakely expressing more need for sympathy or help than what would be appropriate, and I got lost in that energy. Maybe I got lost because I didn't have discernment? Because I sinned and also didn't properly do the things I need to do to get the discernment.  I thought maybe discernment is differentiaing one thing from another. An unfair leech spirit vs what would be in my heart to give and what would God want me to give.

it looked similar to that of another homeless guy who kept begging people for a ciggarratte. his legs were hurt apparently when he worked as a chef, because he overworked them. he thought h1713r was right. what i thought is what if he looked down on disabled people and then became disabled because he overworked himself to keep proving hes's superior. or maybe others wanted too much from him idk i kin da doubt that tho. in the end he sent me to buy a patron alcohol for him he gave me the money its just that he struggled to walk himself. in retrospect i shouldnt have done it. the guy next to him told me he was using me and had his head dwon when i left. i think he was right. it was stupid of me. i was kinda afraid of disagreeing with him because i'd have to come off too mean, i  dont fully know if thats related to my jaw issues, strugglign to regulate my tone and stuff, if i'd disagreed with him. ia lso liejk to hurt people who dontu nderstand basic language.

i also hated that other peopel would consider someone who says no to be just shy and to need encouragement to be pushed and pressured. i hated that. why cant u make ur own decisions but want someone else to push and pressure you? was it fair of me to judge them that way? maybe we are all different. maybe narcissims is related to struggling too much to deal with all other people's differences, althought maybe it's that they always expect you to do more for them, than they to you, and theres different people who each feel superior and don't want to do stuff for you, so you become exhausted form everybody;'s bullshit and and domineering. 

how you get manipulated and lose your inner voice or ability to think.

 how you get brainwashed

people tell you you are bad at thinking and shouldn't think or use your brain.

they tell you you should listen to them and threaten you that you are crazy and insane if you don't.

they make you doubt yourself and lose your discernment.

what you believe is what your brain can get wired to. so if you believe them you get wired to get lost in them. 

so you can feel benefited for someone to tell you to believe something correct, or to believe your own inner voice or to try to listen to it.

fear of criticism or judgement, in words lets say, can make you not be able to think or do things because you're trying to avoid criticism

they tell you to talk and repeat and do things when you aren't ready. they command you and do not let you command yourself. they try to break your conscience. sometimes what you think is right can turn out ot be wrong, that's true.

low vibrational music forces your body a certain way.

people's tone and emotional expression when it's not good to mirror.

they make you think from their perspectie but don't think from yours. they make you argue form their prespective and don't argue from yours. they have more mental bandwith which is also related to phsyical wiring in present to think about what they already think and try to manipulate you.

they teach you to not have self respect, and then humiliate you for not having self respect. answer: you deserve respect.

the problem with having no self respect/not believing you are respectable is that you can try to please others or talk from their perspective because yours isn't inherently respectable which shows in your tone. and they don't contorl themselves or lack awareness or don't try to have it to not hurt you or to respect you. what happens is the external thoguhts or forves overwhelm you and you get lost.

im not sure what is the function of respect, because what's true is true regardless of given respect, but since people treat you based on perceived respect, and maybe your own body reacts to commands of respect it can make you succeptible to external influences to the point of not being able to think properly.

when you can't think you can copy and immitate othres thats how the hivemind tries to consume you.

tree human

air  metnal plane - commands communication, shared with others, thoughts, things you see hear feel sense whatever

earth - body, clay, molded

water - reGENEration, reproduction, restoration, softens clay

fire - motion and emotion, hardens clay

seeds need water to grow. air disperses them and polinates the earth

WORD

are sWORDs 

in tarot the sword cards are related to the air element. words define concepts, cut them into shape, separate one from another, discern, differentiate.

swords can be tools to sculpt the shape of the clay

GENitals

related GENEration

and GENEs come from them

root chakra is where the reproduction organs are. Saturn is exalted in libra (hips and butt, stability). Sacrum is sacred. saturn/chronos was a god of time and related to harvestingg grown seeds

root chakra is related to stability, money, being able to walk, groundedness

like a tree, we have roots below, seeds, spine is the tree body, and our neurons are like branches with leaves.

fruits grow in the brain's branches when the water from the roots and seed nourish it

men hating beauty

 a lot of men conflate beauty sensitivity grace manners awareness emotional intelligence carefulness and gentleness with weakness inferioty and gayness and try to hurt punish mock and ostracize men who posses or use those qualities, that women like, because they nurture and care for her and make her feel good, and the other men are self righteous and want the women to feel bad, and are insecure aobut themselves so they make themselves sick and ugly and overworked and nasty intentionally because they believe that's what succeeds in the world. even if the guy is beautiful and has good eyes sharp jawline he can be considered feminine because he's attractive.

soul ties

 soul tie information from witches and also a bit from christians, christians who have heard it from witches

soul ties can happen between believers or friends,

but there's also soul ties which can happen from having sex with someone. someone said this can even happen from sexting.

 i don't know how exactly it works, but there are ungodly soul ties. you are supposed to only have sex in marriage,

i would also advise you to be careful whom you marmy, i don't know God's plan for your life, but you should probably ask God that's what I think i don't know if I;m wrong, but it makes sense to me.    

there was a story about a man and a woman, i don't remember if the man or both went to a witch, for her to make a spell or enchantment i don't recall to make them inseparable. but then the man and the woman fell apart and the woman was getting sick, nauseous and throwing up a lot over the course of a month and maybe was getting worse, so a christian had this vision or something and had to break the spell somehow i don't understand.
there are youtube videos about soul ties from witches, ex witches and christians

some people say the reason many porn stars and sex workers are ill, besides traumas, can be from soul ties from many partners. I am not saying any of this to judge, i am saying it to warn, and ask God whoi g it to helphelp you and ask Jesus Christ for help.

self sabotage

 Self sabotage

can come from fear of achieving too much,

others being jealous and tearing you down.

being afraid you may not remain balanced when you achieve or get too much. losing previous adaptations and becoming used to comfort, then not wanting to give it away when you have to move on.

Achieving too much but not growing in other areas to maintain previous needed adaptations, and also ability to achieve it again, and also ability to maintain or grow it and manage more.

Environmental changes which aren't understood or the previous adaptations somehow struggle todeal with the new demands.
Then what would be the reward in growing the wrong adaptations for the new environment if it can change again?
Is it genuine solid growth or is it just a reaction?
And then if you manage with the old and the new, is that just a temporary thing just before a bigger crash, or what is it?

fapping loses your energy and makes you weaker. emotions is energy motion. time is money. money is related to food and energy. do not waste energy. hurrying up can make things not work and thus cause issues with energy. there's certain times and certain rules.

How to differentiate society pressuring us to behave one way vs God? How to differentiate the emotional or energy in our body?